Moving Forward

As I settle back into being single, single, single :) You know some folk are single, but not really, if you know what I mean… I consider lessons learned from my last relationship.

First, I do not believe that God prevents anything in our lives. I believe when we listen to Him and respond to His word and instruction that He protects us from everything– disapointment, pain, our own bad decisions, the unseen factors we may not see for quite some time to come, etc. God loves us so much that if we are truly surrendered to Him, He will always make a way of escape from wrong situations or the places that are not good for you that we might unwittingly venture from time to time.

Secondly, every good man might not be God’s man for you. I so want His good, acceptable and perfect will for my life, don’t you? I have not waited this long in life to settle on any front when it comes to my life. Remember that God is determined to give you His best as well as what is best for you. Expect it and don’t embrace anything less.

Thirdly, it is wise to wait to make major decisions in your life, especially after experiences trauma, drama, or difficult times. Your emotional pores are open and susceptible to ingesting things God might not have intended for you.Just because he recues you doesnt mean he is right for you.  This is right up there with the verse in Proverbs that says “to the hungry soul, every bitter thing seems sweet” Wait until you are whole and can see clearly before moving forward to avoid further heartache.

Fourth, God does use people in our lives for specific reasons to faciliate His larger agenda for your life. Don’t take it personally when He removes them. Be willing to recognize the end of a season and move on. There is a time for dying and making room for sweeter fruit, allow the master Gardener to prune you, anticipating the blessing to come.

Fifth, every disapointment is an opportuntiy for greater hope to be birthed if you trust that in Christ you never lose anything worth keeping. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. If something or someone is removed from your life it is to make room for something greater.

Sixth, keep checking in with God and surrending the thing you love most even in the good season and stay open to hearing Gods’ voice and instruction. Sometimes situations and people change. God knows ahead of time every turn we take and prepares our heart for those unanticipated moments according to His design, so that in the end you can escape the sting of the pain the enemy of our hearts intended for your devastation. What the enemy meant for evil God will ultimately use for His good to make you wiser, stronger and hopefully more sweet!

Remember, relationships will come and go, all things will pass away, but it still ain’t over til we see Jesus, and trust me that is when the ultimate love experience that will be everlasting will begin. So in the words of Evita, “Don’t cry for me Argentina” pray for me instead that I will continue to soar on the wind of God’s plan for my life, onward and upward! I will continue to dance as if no one is watching, sing as if no one is listening and love as if I’ve never been hurt. It’s called faith…plain and simple… the only real adventure.

About Michelle McKinney Hammond

Michelle McKinney Hammond is the best-selling author of over 40 books on living, loving and overcoming. She is also a singer, international speaker, business entrepreneur, and television cohost of TCT's 3D Woman, as well as the Emmy award winning women's talk show Aspiring Woman. Known as a relationship expert and lifestyle architect, Michelle focuses on giving others practical life tools to help them excel in every area of life. Log on to www.michellehammond.com for more info.
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21 Responses to Moving Forward

  1. Rachel says:

    Thanks Michelle. Your books have always helped me in dealing with being Single. Your books always make me feel like I’m listening to my Big sister. I think you are amazing and a blessing to millions all over the world. Keep being strong and May God continue to bless you. I’m 33 and Very Single with no prospects in sight and its hard – I’m reading “if Men are like busses and release the pain, embrace the joy” its encouraging but I must admit sometimes its hard as I look around and most friends are getting married and I have never really been loved but alas…I know God has a plan to give me hope. I’m encouraged by your faith it encourages me when I feel down.

  2. Mary says:

    Thanks for the Godly perspective and insight and sharing your experiences. I was divorced in 2000 and still waiting for God’s choice for me for a suitable life partner. It’s often difficult and lonely to be patient and trust in God’s timing instead of trying to make it happen on my own. i have to remember to give it up to Him…

  3. Patricia says:

    Michelle, I’ve read your books many times during my single years. They lead me to gain greater strength in our Lord, Be Still and gain discernment as I move forward in this life. I pray that God is glorified through your words, books and blogs to so many women. I believe God will grant us what we focus on and bless us as we allow.

    Thank you! Blessings!

  4. Latrina Crofton says:

    I enjoyed this keep up the Great Work Diva

  5. Damita Adams says:

    Well said!

  6. Nelisiwe says:

    Thanks Michelle 4 sharing this with us. God is great and if we just keep entrusting our all in him, he will do his will in our lifes. I will keep presing on and enjoying everyday as a gift 4m God. Thanks

  7. Ron says:

    Disagree with 5 trust that anything lost not worth keeping. Wrong my wife was worth keeping trust me 20 yrs i know better then that, dont tell a broken heart god thinks that he did not write that u did…….

    • My dear brother sorry for your broken heart. I feel your pain. perhaps my comment was too general. Not speaking of great relationships where crisis, death or illness occurs. In some cases loss can be counted as gain. Sometimes we lose things through our own foolishness, but even then the lessons learned are priceless and prepare you for something even greater. I believe that nothing is lost in Christ and what He has for you can not be taken away. If it is removed for a season, He is faithful to return it in better condition. Ultimately His will is performed in our lives and we must be willing to allow Him to remove what He will.

  8. charlotte bayone says:

    That was an awesome word. I was married 25 years and been single 13 years and the longer I’m single the more I won’t settle for less than Gods best.

  9. Tabatha says:

    Thanks

    I myself am settling back into being single really single after being engaged. This was for me. He is a wonderful man but not the man for me and thats ok because I know Gods got me.
    Thank you very much

  10. Carita Dee says:

    Truth! Keep shining my Bajan sister. Check me out on FB

  11. dearest sister in christ…
    i just wanted to let you know just how much i am learning…from you!!!
    i first read your book “sassy single and satisfied”…on a cross country train trip from portland oregon where i live to brooklin new york to visit my daughter…circca 2003..
    everything you wrote in that book just “spoke to my soul”…
    but,
    sadly i put the book away for years…
    i am single and i really love it…
    i get up every morning at 4am {sometimes earlier..when god wants to talk}…
    HE LOVES STARBUCKS LOL}
    i read my bible and pray and search for god…
    i celebrate the morning with joy and anticapation…and praise as i greet the dawn!!!
    i can do that because i am single…
    im celebrating 21years no alcohol…this comming may 21st 2012…
    no meth 15years…
    and sex 12years…
    PRAISE GOD!!!
    i went to the gresham public library and i pray before i enter the doors for god to lead me to what he wants to “TEACH ME”…
    and he lead me to the recovery bible nlt {i have kjvs and many nivs}…in my library…
    but the recovery nlt is awesome…
    then i found crefelo a. dollars 8 steps to achieve the life that iyou want…
    i loved it…
    but one day i found…
    “HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE WORK”….
    and my LIFE CHANGED”…
    YOU HAVE BECOME MY TEACHER, MY SISTER IN CHRIST, AND MY FRIEND…
    i have diva tudes…
    if men are like busses…
    gosh i have them all from the library…
    i read one of your books then i run to the christain book store and order one of my own…
    i was so happy when barnes and noble clackmas town center oregon called me { i also order hard to get books from them and they told me you had a “new book comming out”…
    ive waited with “GREAT ANTICIPATION”…WHAT YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME…AND ALL THAT GOD WILL REAEAL TO ME THROUGH YOUR BOOK…
    so…
    i hear you my sister…
    and i so appreciate you…
    and god bless you…
    and bless you your words and your journey…
    a sister of the road…
    deborah
    ixoye

  12. Yes moving forward is the way forward. It reinforces that God is such a loving father that He wouldn’t withhold from our lives something or someone that fits in with His purpose for us. This can be so hard to grasp at time because sometimes the flesh wants what it wants and hence the importance of having our hearts so deeply buried in Him to be able to actually comprehend that.

    This is just beautiful reinforcement and confirmation to me.
    God bless You Michelle

  13. Olivia says:

    Dear Michelle, thank you for being honest and vulnerable. Lots of love!

  14. Jennifer Deleveaux says:

    Michelle, I am absolutely your number one fan (definetly in the Bahamas, maybe even in the world). And I look up to you more than you’ll ever know. You’re truly a gift from God. I was just watching a broadcast of you talking about Jojo and moving to Ghana, a mere three mins ago.

    You have been a mentor to me for at least 10 years, and it is my prayer that God continues to prosper you without measure, maybe even bring you to the Bahamas for some ministry. :) But, whatever the future holds for us, I know that God’s best is part of His plans for us.

    God bless you Michelle, you are an inspiration to many and a wonderful example to me.

  15. Charles says:

    This really warms the heart to hope for the will of God amidst a terrible heart ache.

  16. Dannyrose says:

    The Lord has been showing me these past few weeks everything you write here, That we should trust him to cover us under his wing. Am now learning from you that he will not let anything or anyone leave who is not worth having. Remembering your teaching, you also said once,that we have a choice to choose. In the “10 mistakes…” you say we need to let the man choose us for the reasons you give which is correct and I believe this. But it is so painful when you lose the one you thought has chosen you and you have choosen, and still want him back. How do I reconcile and still wait on God?

  17. Dottie says:

    You are such a gift, mentor and an inspiration!! I am not sure where I would be without your amazing books!!Keep writing as most of us rely on the knowledge God has deposited in your life, further on the experiences that you go through..always making sure we are on the look out to prevent and avoid making dangerous and unnecessary mistakes. May God truly and richly bless you without measure!!

  18. Denise says:

    God bless you Michelle and thank you soooooo much!!!

  19. Annie says:

    I just want to say thank you for this post (although it was written 3 years ago) as I am currently going through a heartbreak for finally letting go a long-time, one-sided love affair. Even if we’re continents apart (I am from the Southeast Asia), I have considered you as one of my mentors since the day I started to read your book “What to Do Until Love Finds You” (I have a copy which I, in turn, gave it to a friend who was, at that time and until now, looking for love). Right now I’ve bought your latest book “Getting Smart on Life, Love, and Men” and reading through the stories I decided to make each chapter to be my devotion. Each thought really spoke to my heart like no other devos that I’ve used in the past. I have come to acknowledge that God is speaking to me through your words.
    Truth be told, the above post was a hard pill for me to swallow, especially the part where you said that “every good man may not be God’s man for you”. This was a hard truth that, by God’s grace I will be able to accept given my current situation. The Lord has His reasons, and I believe that He will make all things good in His time.
    Again I thank you for your life. May God bless you immensely so you can continue to bless us single ladies thru your ministry.

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